Alexandra Kathryn Mosca — Exploring Life and Death: A Writer's Journey

As long as I can remember, I’ve been interested in fashion. Even as a teenager, I saved the money I earned from minimum‑wage after‑school jobs just to buy something new to wear. But when I began my career as a funeral director, I quickly realized my work wardrobe would not be versatile—or colorful. It would be almost entirely black.

Now, that may sound like chic personified, but it was not. Stylish black suits were surprisingly hard to find, and believe me, I searched. I wanted to look chic, young, and certainly not dowdy—while still being conservative and properly dressed for the work I did. What I didn’t want was to look like I was wearing a uniform.

When most people think of fashion, they imagine vibrant colors, bold patterns, and trendy accessories. But for those of us in funeral service, fashion tells a different story. The attire of a female funeral director revolves around black suits and white blouses, embodying professionalism and respect for the families we serve. It took time—and plenty of trial and error—to navigate this unique fashion landscape. Over the years, my wardrobe evolved, and I learned how to express personal style within the subtle confines of my vocation.

The Search for Chic Black Attire

Stepping into funeral service meant stepping into a world where colors faded and black became the staple. As someone who has always cherished fashion, the transition to a monochromatic wardrobe was challenging.

The Challenge of Style

Early on, finding stylish black suits, skirts, and blouses proved far more difficult than I expected. Many options seemed designed for an older demographic, leaving me feeling frumpy and less than confident. I wanted to look polished and modern—proof that one could be young and professional in such a somber field.

Versatility quickly became essential. My clothing needed to transition seamlessly from the arrangement room to the cemetery. Every piece had to balance contemporary style with the conservativeness the environment required. I wandered through countless stores, flipping through racks of uninspiring, unstructured black.

Black suits and skirts have come a long way since then. And as the strict rules of funeral attire relaxed, I began adding charcoal gray and navy blue to my closet. It’s almost funny now to remember the day I showed up in a navy suit and my boss sent me home to change. At my first job, black was the rule—no exceptions.

Discovering Fabrics, Cuts, and Confidence

With each shopping trip, I realized the focus shouldn’t be on color alone. Fabrics and cuts mattered just as much. I started seeking high‑quality materials that felt good to wear and silhouettes that brought subtle flair to the dark palette. Tailored blazers with a nipped waist, structured trousers, and fashion‑forward skirts began to populate my closet—each piece telling a story of elegance and professionalism.

As the years went on, I added pastel blouses—light blue, pale pink, cream, even simple prints—to pair with my suits. These soft colors allowed me to express myself just a little more and helped break up the monotony. The expanded palette opened up my fashion choices considerably and made getting dressed each day something to look forward to.

The Art of Accessories

Accessories became another way to let my personality shine. A simple brooch or delicate necklace could add individuality to a dark suit. These small touches made me feel special and helped me stand out in a subtle, appropriate way.

Shoes, too, became essential. Given how much time we spend on our feet, comfort is non‑negotiable. I’ve found that kitten heels or block heels strike the perfect balance between style and practicality.

And then there’s the handbag—a stylish, roomy, and often colorful companion that brings life to an otherwise muted palette.

Finding Balance Between Fashion and Function

Dressing as a female funeral director isn’t about fitting into a mold; it’s about creating an identity that respects the gravity of the profession while still embracing personal style. By expanding my color palette, choosing versatile pieces, and mastering the art of accessorizing, I’ve learned that professionalism doesn’t have to mean a lack of style.

In a field often viewed through a somber lens, I enjoy challenging perceptions and expressing a bit of individuality. Fashion is a form of expression, and it can exist beautifully even in the most unexpected environments.

So here’s to all the female funeral directors out there: wear that dark suit with pride. Even in our line of work, style matters.

Style Matters, Even in Black

What I’ve learned over the years is that fashion in funeral service isn’t about erasing individuality—it’s about finding subtle ways to honor both the calling and yourself. A dark suit may be the foundation, but the way you choose fabrics, cuts, colors, and accessories can transform it into something that feels authentically yours.

For me, embracing this balance has turned dressing for work from a chore into a quiet act of creativity. It’s proof that even in a field defined by solemnity, there is room for elegance, personality, and joy.